Think of something that truly repulses you. Hold that thought until your skin squirms. Now, write a glowing puff piece about its amazing merits.
This might be one of the hardest topics to write about. Ever. And even though everything has a good and bad side, I’m convinced what I’m repulsed by HAS no good side. Here goes.
What has jet black rough wings that make a whirring sound when it flies (or attacks)?
What has needle sharp talons attached to scratchy steely legs?
What has a pitch black beak, hard as brushed metal, and cruel glinting beady eyes?
More importantly, what haunts cemeteries, is called a death omen and a cry that would wake the dead themselves and start the zombie apocalypse?
- A large perching bird (genus Corvus) with mostly glossy black plumage, a heavy bill, and a raucous voice.
What glossy plumage? That should be used to describe good things!
There is a good reason I’m repulsed by the birds of death. I’m not a random bird hater.
When I was 6 years old, and happily playing on my balcony, I accidentally strayed too near a crow’s nest which was atop the nearest tree. I had no idea what bird lived there, and the nest seemed empty. Next thing I heard was a loud screechy cry and I saw black. Literally. Two crows pecked me on the forehead and on the head; the beaks felt like razors, while their wings whirred all around me, and to this day i’m terrified if I hear even a book’s pages whirring. I was a child, and I got frightened out of my wits. That has developed into a major phobia since. I cannot even think about crows without shuddering physically and perceptibly.
A glowing puff piece? About vile repulsive feathered black winged steely grating crows?
This is definitely the most difficult article ever.
There ARE no good things about crows. They steal food from children, cats and dogs. Some say they’re intelligent. I say they’re pure hellish evil.
I found an article in which crows actually attack people for no reason. Here’s an excerpt from the original site:
“OK, so the scientists weren’t just playing out horror movie fantasies — they were testing whether the crows could recognize human faces or not. It turns out they can. To a frightening degree. Whenever the scientists walked around campus with the masks on, the crows would “scold” and dive-bomb them… because along with the ability to recognize us as individuals, the researchers also learned that crows can hold a grudge. And pretty soon, it wasn’t just the first seven crows reacting. Other birds, ones that hadn’t even been captured in the first place, started dive-bombing the scientists as well.”
WHO says there’s anything good about them? They hold grudges, dive bomb people, conspire and plan against us. I can’t even look at a picture without screaming, so this glowing puff piece didn’t work out. Crows repulse me to high heaven and there is nothing good about them.