LBP – Myth or Reality?

Have you ever lost a ballpoint – repeatedly? Then you’re in the right place.

Hi, this is my new ballpoint. I just bought it in the morning from the store/peddler/random guy on the street, because I need it at school/at work/to throw at someone. Something miraculous will happen to it in a few hours’ time. A tried and tested phenomena in fact. This little innocent ink-filled pen will get lost. Invariably. Someone will borrow it, steal it or beg it off me, and i’ll give it purely because i’m such a nice person and plus, I have like a million lying around at home or at work, so no problem. And just like that, LBP will occur. The Lost Ballpoint Phenomena. And I will be helpless to stop it.

LBP is just what I wanted to avoid, and so I set up my own “Lost Ballpoint Shelter and Trust” a few days ago. Its very official and proper I assure you.

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Okay so I only have four rescue cases at the moment, but I found them from various dangerous ink threatening spots. Under the carpet, squashed under a table leg and one about to be sucked by the vacuum cleaner..these pens were really living on the edge.

And to confirm your view on my (in)sanity, I have texted friends and told them to donate any lost ballpoints they find to my shelter. That isn’t very likely to happen; once you magically find one of these fateful sticks from a random location, you’re bound to it, for life. Or the next half an hour anyway: “Oh this! I remember I bought this in 1950, when the Korean War started. Never thought I’d see this again..”. And there you go. You’re hooked. A single ink filled stick brings back memories, and if its empty, then anger.

I’m going to work strenuously to collect more ballpoints that just ‘turn up’ as an antithesis to LBP, and give them a place to stay, hopefully never to be lost, wandering alone in dark alleyways again…wait, that’s me, not pens. The point being, keep on ‘lending’ ballpoints to random people, never to see them again, because LBP cannot be ended. During my two years of A Levels, this was a recurring problem. I went to class with 6 pens and came back with 2, and I swear I had no idea where they went. They just did. I’m not alone in this. Support the Lost Ballpoints’ Shelter, for LBP is unstoppable.

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