The hardest thing to do, isn’t it? But that doesn’t mean it can’t be accomplished with a bit of mind over matter, humour and good spirits. Whatever your personal rut: stuck in a relationship with a human, warlock or aggressive German Shepherd. When they leave (or start to), you should have back up, and not go crawling back.
*Warning. All the tips given here would give Dr. Phil a heart attack if he ever rifled through them.
1. You know when they say you should have “closure”? And talk about things? Yes maybe you should, in 7 years. At the moment, though, occupy yourself with a million different things. And if you’re an introvert like me, you could start blogging, reading, or befriending random strangers. Step one: Distract distract. Because when the going gets tough, the tough start thinking about something else.
2. Now you say, how should I distract? My ex boyfriend/stuffed animal/canary is just too good to ignore. I keep remembering how they listened to me, fetched the remote and rolled over. No, this won’t do. Step two: Look for replacements. I can almost see the reactions to this assertion. Are you affronted because nothing can replace you person/doggie? Actually, something can. Other people. God didn’t invent four billion different people just randomly for fun. Socialize. Make new friends; shove the old memories to the back of your mind in a box marked “To Be Opened Later, Maybe.”
3. Do you listen to music? Of course you do, or you wouldn’t be reading this blog where a random teenager rambles on endlessly. So, step three: Update your playlist. After a break up, or loss, they tell you to get rid of bitter memories and other stuff? So you could go, delete your texts, contacts, throw out your canary’s food bowl and feel happy…for about an hour. Then it’ll enter; the guilt, and regret. You’ll inevitably want those things back. Human nature. Unless you’re the Terminator and walk around with blazing guns, you won’t be strong enough and will likely become a weeping mess fast enough. So, don’t do it. Instead, delete songs from your playlist. The ones that remind you of him/her/it. That song your cat accidentally always played when she climbed on your laptop. Remove it. Rihanna will always come up with new songs, but you can’t make new memories.
4. Now Dr. Phil might approve of this, sort of (not really). No one said you need to be strong, so why don’t you go pick your favourite window streaked grey with rain, with tissues, and blubber for an hour or two? Why not? BUT, catch being, during that break down, find something that makes you happy. Anything, a little thing. So here, crying doesn’t mean weeping like a lovelorn ostrich and then drunk dialing your German shepherd/ex/best friend’s mom, telling them you’re happier without them. Step four: Cry your little heart out, and then find happiness, instantly. I don’t want you feeling sorry for yourself. Feel bad for the other person, animal or insect. They lost someone pretty great.
PS. I love you, whoever you are. If you need any help moving on, I’m here.
PPS. This post was inspired by the song Heaven by Theory of a Deadman, which made me realize I should move on, too.