Oh, Let’s See. Why Not A Walrus?

Daily Prompt: Slash and Burn

Thematically, this post will be pure nonsense. Read if its worth your while.

One day, gazing into outer space with my super binoculars, I realized that once you turn into a walrus, you never turn back. I mean, you could, if you really really wanted to, but why would you? You’d have a fine pair of silky whiskers that you could manipulate, pull and arrange all the time as you like. And your skin would be slippery, fishy and will not need any maintenance whatsoever. Sure, your body will be more like a blob of squishy-ness, but your heart would be the same, and other walruses will love you, no matter what you look like.

For the discerning walrus, there would be stores to purchase top hats from, and eyeglasses appropriate for the opera, for example “Walrus and More.” Add a waistcoat and you’re all set. If you’re a socially awkward walrus, you’d need a cell phone to hide behind so you don’t have to interact with other walruses face to face; this could also be arranged. Obesity would not exist, because aren’t walruses supposed to be all blubber?

As a walrus, you could have access to many amusement parks and zoos. Of course if you’re a particularly handsome specimen, someone could always kidnap and ship you off to Peru, but the likelihood of that happening will be slim, since you’d be so fat and hard to lift. So you see, the essence of this was to tell you, fellow human, that if you woke up one day as a walrus, life wouldn’t be bad. In fact, it could be pretty great.




13 Comments Add yours

  1. cshowers says:

    Oh, I liked this, and now, I must confess that I’m giving serious thought to walrushood. 🙂 I get tickled just thinking of the benefits – but alas! I don’t think walrushood is a possibility for me. You see, while I already have many of the fine qualities of a walrus, I can’t swim! Maybe I’ll just be a hippo instead. 😉

    1. Viva Violet says:

      No worries! we shall host a walrus swimming class and you won’t even have to pay in fish! :P. Hmm, being a hippo gives me more ideas… 😀

  2. muZer says:

    Hehe.. I can’t wait now to become a walrus. Such a fun post! 🙂

    1. Viva Violet says:

      I’m so glad you want to be walrus now, yes indeed its lots of fun. Thanks for reading! 😀

  3. I just had to click the worm a few times. Its so tempting. and walrus , oh walrus is goood 🙂

    1. Viva Violet says:

      Hahahahah, the poor little worm :P. I know right? Imagine if we were all walruses… 😛

      1. quick, we need bigger toothbrushes!

      2. Viva Violet says:

        And our own fashion line? 😀

  4. I like this post, it made me smile. My facebook About Me statement is “I am the Walrus” – from The Beatles song 🙂

    1. Viva Violet says:

      “See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky, see how they run.”. Yep, that’s a good song.
      Yay, I’m happy it made you smile. Thank you so much for commenting ❤

  5. Ignore me – worked it out 🙂

    1. Viva Violet says:

      Haha, glad it did. Thanks for stopping by 😀

  6. Hi – thanks for following my blog. I have a question – how did you get your post into the comments of the Daily Prompt page??

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