Help! My Pet Giraffe Is Moving Out

You wake up and pad down to the kitchen, only to find your family giraffe sitting placidly, fully dressed, cross legged at the table. His usual bowl of cereal and glass of veggie juice are not in front of him. Today he is reading a newspaper, and has a red Sharpie clutched in his fore hoof. You ask him what he’s up to, casually and he shrugs and dismisses you entirely. As soon as he lumbers off upstairs to check on his 4 foot long jeans, you snatch up the newspaper and find that he has been circling apartment listings..!

This could only mean one thing: Your giraffe wants to move out!

Is your whole world crashing? Feel dizziness and nausea that is not secret morning sickness? Well then. you feel loss already. Here’s what you have to do.

Calmly confront your giraffe. Avoid using any threats, long speeches or screams. And don’t threaten him with a fly swatter. I’ve seen how that ends, he will just laugh at you.

Coolly, remind him when he moves, he won’t have anyone to do his laundry or brush his mane and coat. If your giraffe is like mine, he will have already made arrangements, but if not, he will feel the brunt, trust me.

Then, plead. Tell him you won’t be able to clean the top of the roof without him, reach your kitchen shelves, or get any work done without his famously dry humour making you smirk. Giraffes have hearts, and he might just stay.

Finally, if all fails, accept it. Learn that he has a life too. When you smuggled him in from Africa, you meant for him to stand on his own two hooves one day, right? Make it easier. Pack his huge suitcase,with leaf flavoured jelly and treats, and help him move in. Its never easy when your pet giraffe moves out, but life goes on, after all.



2 Comments Add yours

  1. N says:

    Aww. This is lovely 🙂

    1. Viva Violet says:

      Thank you for reading and commenting 😀 x

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