How Does Adultery Make You Feel?

There’s something I cannot get off my mind at the moment. It’s not deep, brooded over or intellectual. But it’s been preying in my thoughts, inexorably.

Adultery. Infidelity. Cheating. Two-timing.

What do they all mean? If you ‘cheat’, will you be labeled an adulterer? Even if you have your reasons and are being treated badly? Is infidelity completely irredeemable?

Everyone has different opinions. The partner who’s been cheated on will undoubtedly be hurt beyond reason, but what about the cheater? Perhaps he or she was being taken for granted, or felt ignored. He or she will have their own measure of guilt, pain and shame. People who sin aren’t free, not really.

I’d like to know what other people think of this. I’m confused and vague about this subject. Is something bad purely because the majority says so? And isn’t adultery just something realistic people today should come to expect in their relationships? What if it’s emotional? Are there different rules then?

I’m hoping I can clear the mystery.

“Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious.” 
― Scott Dikkers

“My own feeling is that if adultery is wickedness then so is food. Both make me feel so much better afterward.” 
― Kurt Vonnegut

Adultery

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. If you cheat you break the rules the contract of your marriage. If you can’t trust your spouse many things get difficult. If you need to see others sexually or emotional you should be “man” enough to discuss this with your partner. If you can’t agree on the subject you must choose to leave or accept the terms. I don’t think cheating in any human relations is acceptable. I want to be able to trust my friends and my spouse.

  2. “I’d like to know what other people think of this. I’m confused and vague about this subject. Is something bad purely because the majority says so? And isn’t adultery just something realistic people today should come to expect in their relationships? What if it’s emotional? Are there different rules then?”

    When I said my vows I meant them and was under the impression my wife did too. I’m speaking here from a traditional and Christian perspective, I agreed to be her partner on the condition that we would work together and that our relationship was comitted and exclusive. Regardless of our religious beliefs when we interact with people, we expect consistency and for them to more or less do what they will say they will do. You don’t rent an appartment for 1,000 and then try to pay 800, you have faith for the most part that people will go on a green light, and stop on a red light, and so forth.

    Unfortunately unless people take extradordinary measures adultery or infidelity will likely (statistically speaking) be a part of their marriage.

    My wifes emotional infidelity hurt worse than the physical infidelity.

    Look we aren’t any different than our ancestors biologically, and probably weaker morally and physically. We expect things to be spoonfed to us, and are trained and told that we should expect easy instant gratification of any of our desires. Relationships to thrive take effort, and dedication.

  3. alwayzevolve says:

    Because of our society, I will say the way in which adultery is viewed is no longer seen as an end all be all. In regard to relationships, I believe that they should be defined by the two individuals in them and not by society. Traditional relationships have more or less become extinct, sad in some ways, but oh so true. Unconventional relationships seem to be setting the tone. What works for one couple may not work for all so in saying that, the definition of adultery may differ based on who you talk to and how acceptable or unacceptable it may be varies from coule of couple. I just think unrealistic expecations screw up a lot of relationships. We look for storybook endings and media as our blueprint, and overlook reality. Relationships function better when two individuals are allowed to be themselves, KNOW who they are and not expect the other partner to be anything to them that they can’t be for themselves. So on adultery, this question will never be answered in a way that calms confusion. It is what it is. We expect perfect relationships from imperfect humans.

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