How To…Tell If You’re In Love – With Your Cellphone

This is my personal guide that will tell you whether your phone is a lifeline, a nuisance or something in between:

Signs To Look For:

Number One:

You wake up, stretch and yawn, muss your hair for that sexy straight out of bed effect (which leaves you looking like a drunken llama), and reach for your phone. But WAIT. It’s not on your left where you left it before sleeping. You twist and fumble and get tangled and you still can’t locate the device. Then wild thoughts start to form.

Did my dog/cat/sister eat or break it?!!”

Did it fall under the bed??”

Maybe that strange Japanese girl living in my closet got to it.”

And more wild thoughts. Until you’re panicking and huffing and puffing. All of a sudden you sit up, and discover the phone has slipped under your pillow. You heave a sigh of relief and thank God for this miracle. If this has ever happened to you, you’re more attached to your cellphone than a fish is to a hook, when snagged.

Number Two:

You’re at a dinner party, or some other formal event. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing or whether you have pockets or a handbag. Your phone will be tightly clutched in your hand, and you will keep it there even if you have to carry drinks, food or give empty compliments to old aunts and uncles. If you have your cellphone, a plate of shrimp, a drink and lies for your liver spotted relatives in your hands simultaneously, you are addicted to the phone. No question.

Number Three:

Have you ever spaced out while texting or checking on social networks? If any version of this conversation has ever happened to you, your cellphone is not just a device, it is a certified family member:

Family Member/Friend/Pet Squirrel: Hey, what’s up today?

*you’re too busy staring at phone to reply*

“I’m talking to you, could you like, look at me?”

*you give illegible mumble in reply with unfocused glazed over look*

Umm hello? Could you leave your phone for one tiny second to listen to me?”

*you put down the phone and snap*

Number Four:

You take your cellphone into the bathroom. And you text whilst in the shower. No, peeing for a minute won’t send you into the seven hells of boredom. Getting bored is not an excuse to take your cellphone inside with you. However, like me, if you find yourself texting, playing games or otherwise just staring at the screen while doing your business, you are definitely in love with your phone. Texting or calling whilst in the shower is another sign. What’s so important that you can’t wait to reply to in ten minutes? This is something my mother never tires of asking me. Yes, I text in the shower.

If you have experienced any of these four major signs (like I have), your cellphone is a lifeline to you (like mine is). I’ve started calling it ‘Blood of my blood’ recently, but that’s a whole other story.

Image
Blood of my blood…
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28 Comments Add yours

  1. Only the first symptom, but I don’t like my phone. Or texting. I like listening to music on it and that’s it 😛

  2. Kozo says:

    Love the drunken lama image.

  3. LOL I love my phone but don’t do any of those. Ok, except for spacing out when i write emails … cause they are usually for work and need to be attentive.

    1. Viva Violet says:

      Haha, then you’re one of the lucky ones who can breathe easy without their cellphone in hand. Spacing out for work is perfectly alright though 😀

      1. I really try to stay away from my smartphone especially over the weekends. But then again if we go out and i’m bored…it’s a good distraction LOL

  4. literarylydi says:

    This is great! My boyfriend’s other girlfriend is his Googlephone

    1. Viva Violet says:

      Hahah, its alright. My Samsung is my first true love :P. It can be an addiction 😛

  5. ambikasingh2 says:

    I have an iPhone and I carry it everywhere because I fear someone may stole it and will find out what I am up to on my Safari…. 😉 LOL

    1. Viva Violet says:

      Hahah, yes internet history. You should get one of those bracelets which says ‘If I die, erase my browser history’ :P. And I totally understand carrying your phone everywhere. I do!

  6. pseudomonaz says:

    I loved this. Totally agree with you. I even receive calls while being in the shower. I show all the four symptoms along with the one in the comments. I am so addicted to my phone.

    1. Viva Violet says:

      Hahah, talking in the shower is the best, like the ultimate form of addiction. Whenever I do that, I both love and hate myself for doing it. Its like true love, only with your cellphone :P. But seriously, thanks for reading 😀

  7. Simon says:

    Love this. I have one to add : if you have the phone in your pocket and you think you feel it vibrate and keep getting it out to check it – “phantom pocket percussion syndrome” I call it 🙂

    1. Viva Violet says:

      Oh my god I totally agree. Phantom pocket percussion syndrome is the worst, and I have it bad. Sometimes, my phone isn’t even set to vibrate, and I still take it out and check :P.

      1. Simon says:

        And if the photo on your post is accurate, you have the a Samsung? Same here – the S2. I adore it.

      2. Viva Violet says:

        Yes I do! :D. I know, I got it a month ago and I can’t imagine being without it now. It feels like an extension of my arm to be honest 😛

      3. Simon says:

        If you’ve not got it, check out the WordPress app – it’s awesome. And of course save the links to my blogs on your browser 🙂 (if you haven’t already download Chrome – it’s awesome on the S2)

      4. Viva Violet says:

        I downloaded Chrome last night, and yes its amazing. Hahaha, will definitely go save them. Yep going to do download the WordPress app 😀

      5. Simon says:

        Ah, it’s so nice seeing a new relationship between a girl and her phone blossom into love 🙂

      6. Viva Violet says:

        Oh isn’t it just? The magic of falling in love… :P. I’m pretty sure I’ll be giggling for no reason and laughing at my phone’s bad jokes in no time! 😛

      7. Simon says:

        That’s awesome 😀 you’ll be smiling to yourself secretly and people will wonder what’s made you so happy. You’ll be picturing doing all the things you love to do, but now with your phone accompanying you… you’ll look forward to your first argument because then you’ll know it’s real, this is a real relationship and you’re being yourselves rather than just pretending. How sweet 🙂

      8. Viva Violet says:

        You know, there are actual people doing that in the world as we speak,. Like that woman who married the Berlin Wall. People get addicted to very strange things indeed. 😛

      9. Simon says:

        Married the Berlin wall? You’re kidding. That is mental. I mean, alright, I love my guitar, but that’s different, my guitar is wonderful 🙂

      10. Viva Violet says:

        Yep, she even wanted to have children with it. God knows how that would be possible.
        Hahhaa, if you ever get married to your guitar, I would like to see that. Mrs. Guitar Simon indeed.

      11. Simon says:

        I don’t think I’d marry it – and trying to have children with it could prove painful… the higher strings are like cheese wire. Ouch.
        Rather than take up your comments space with further conversation, drop me an email if you want to chat again – simon.molloy@gmail.com

      12. Viva Violet says:

        Agreed, sounds painful :P.
        Hahah yeah sure, I’ll give it a thought 😀

    1. Viva Violet says:

      Thank you for the reblog! 😀

      1. superdase says:

        Uw dear, ill follow U̶̲̥̅̊r blog now will U̶̲̥̅̊ pls follow bak?

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