Signs To Look For:
You wake up, stretch and yawn, muss your hair for that sexy straight out of bed effect (which leaves you looking like a drunken llama), and reach for your phone. But WAIT. It’s not on your left where you left it before sleeping. You twist and fumble and get tangled and you still can’t locate the device. Then wild thoughts start to form.
“Did my dog/cat/sister eat or break it?!!”
“Did it fall under the bed??”
“Maybe that strange Japanese girl living in my closet got to it.”
And more wild thoughts. Until you’re panicking and huffing and puffing. All of a sudden you sit up, and discover the phone has slipped under your pillow. You heave a sigh of relief and thank God for this miracle. If this has ever happened to you, you’re more attached to your cellphone than a fish is to a hook, when snagged.
You’re at a dinner party, or some other formal event. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing or whether you have pockets or a handbag. Your phone will be tightly clutched in your hand, and you will keep it there even if you have to carry drinks, food or give empty compliments to old aunts and uncles. If you have your cellphone, a plate of shrimp, a drink and lies for your liver spotted relatives in your hands simultaneously, you are addicted to the phone. No question.
Have you ever spaced out while texting or checking on social networks? If any version of this conversation has ever happened to you, your cellphone is not just a device, it is a certified family member:
Family Member/Friend/Pet Squirrel: Hey, what’s up today?
*you’re too busy staring at phone to reply*
“I’m talking to you, could you like, look at me?”
*you give illegible mumble in reply with unfocused glazed over look*
“Umm hello? Could you leave your phone for one tiny second to listen to me?”
*you put down the phone and snap*
You take your cellphone into the bathroom. And you text whilst in the shower. No, peeing for a minute won’t send you into the seven hells of boredom. Getting bored is not an excuse to take your cellphone inside with you. However, like me, if you find yourself texting, playing games or otherwise just staring at the screen while doing your business, you are definitely in love with your phone. Texting or calling whilst in the shower is another sign. What’s so important that you can’t wait to reply to in ten minutes? This is something my mother never tires of asking me. Yes, I text in the shower.
If you have experienced any of these four major signs (like I have), your cellphone is a lifeline to you (like mine is). I’ve started calling it ‘Blood of my blood’ recently, but that’s a whole other story.