Dial 800-TAMPON (Or When A Psycho Calls)

*ring ring*

“Hello, who is this?”

“OhmyGOD hun I’m so glad you’re home! I have to tell you something dynamite! Ok so I’ll start with what happened yesterday!”

“- excuse me? Wh-who is this?”

“HUN I have no time to play your little games right now, just listen to what I have to say. Shut UP!”

“Umm…wrong number.”

“Oh please. Anyway as I was saying, I went to Eman’s house yesterday and her brother was there. I swear he was checking me OUT girlll, I was so excited!”

“I don’t know what you-”

“Don’t interrupt me, its rude. Anyway yeah. He was ogling me like cuh-razie! I was just like freaking on the inside but I played it cool you know. if ran to the bathroom and fixed my hair and everything!”

“…who’s eman? Who are these peop–”

“Hun shut up. So I fixed my hair and then I came out and guess who I found? That suh-lut Mahnoor was standing there talking to HIM. OH EM GEE *dramatic squeal*. I was so mad pissed!! Well anyway I told her to get out but it was eman’s house so she got mad at me. God these girls and their drama!”

“…uhh bye, wrong number.”

*phone clicks off*



“WHY would you close the phone on my face? Omg are you high or something??”

“Umm no, I don’t know-”

“Whatever. So listen. Her brother kept staring at me and I KNOW he wanted my numba girl! So I slipped him a paper with my digits you know. 21st century gal and all that jazz.”

“I-I really have to go now.”

“Okay hun I’ll finish the story quickly. So I waited for him to call me but he didn’t and I thought you know, he must be gay or summat, but then later I just found out that I gave him my grocery list instead of my number! Poor guy must be goin’ to buy tampons right now. Well it was so mad funny! Ok bye then hun! See you in school! Muah muah!”

*phone clicks off*


“What. Just. Happened…?”




5 Comments Add yours

  1. I’m laughing so much right now, you are an AMAZING blogger and have a beautiful blog!

    1. Viva Violet says:

      I just love you, and also, compliments by you are like 200 times more valuable ❤

  2. great pic, I love Barbara Stanwick, and that movie!

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