Posted in Everyday Clutter, Postaday :D

Interested Applicants Must Shower and Apply

I realise I’ve been writing way too much about weird, pseudo-romantic issues that I may have in real life or in my head. I’m sorry. I understand there are better things to discuss out there, but this is a phase I’m going through so please bear with me. Okay so here’s another one:

“Mismatched relationships?”

I’m always curious to know what it means when opinionated people, or let’s be real, the Internet diagnoses two people as ‘mismatched.’ I mean, there are definitely things that don’t work well together: apples and oranges, hot cheese on ice cream or like, me and pigeons.

But…people? I think I have enough carefully constructed self-knowledge to make a list of my worst mismatched nightmare:

  • Someone who has never heard of deodorant. How will I give you hugs and affection if I have to hold my nose when I’m around you…one armed hugs? Okay.
  • Someone who has picky food choices. I can’t. Please be ready to eat and enjoy every and anything. I can be okay with them rejecting odd food combinations, even though come on, ice cream and french fries is heaven.
  • Someone who thinks astrology is made-up nonsense. Listen to me, I don’t sit and predict my day through horoscopes, but I love reading up about star signs and natal charts and if you make fun of me, bye bye bye (you’re probably a Taurus or Capricorn anyway tbh)
  • Someone who can’t flop down on the floor and be comfortable for hours. You look down at me because I sit on grass? I look up at you as you walk away. There are no sofas on the beach; my floor-sitting skills are valuable!
  • Someone who doesn’t believe in checking on social media. You’re telling me you won’t stay updated on my life? My Snapchat stories don’t exist just for you to not-look-at.
  • Someone who thinks make up is only for special occasions. You, I don’t need your negativity in my life. See you in another life, in Sephora probably.
  • Someone who doesn’t care about period films about the 1950’s-70’s. You don’t have to be in love with them, but do try to watch and discuss them with me.

So now, if you’ve read through this list, you probably have a lot of opinions such as: why are you so shallow? or these are horribly mundane things to care about! 

No, I do know that there are deeper, more problematic things that can create a mismatch. Serious issues like religion or values or goals or morals 0r families or lifestyles. But here’s the key to those: they can be worked out. Those are not things that can ruin relationships if both members are equally committed to making it work.

I believe in nurturing strong relationships. If I didn’t before, I mean I do now. As long as there’s a sufficient level of hard work, it can be done.

And in the mean time, there are tons of still undiscovered odd food combinations.



21 years old and none the wiser for it. I read on the way to work, at work, and after it. Words on a page are underestimated: they have potent, deadly powers. And I like saying words like 'pluviophile.' But I swear I'm not pretentious. At least not all the time.

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